i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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