True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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