Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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