It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
