Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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