yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i would punch a child for taco bell
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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