I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
