let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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