Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
