maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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