As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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