her vagine was all disorganized.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
