I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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