the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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