Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
