legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
