Is it because I queefed?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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