Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
