Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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