I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
