my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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