Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
