I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
