Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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