if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
