I think i peed on brittanys purse
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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