She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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