other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
