Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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