my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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