I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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