I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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