OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
