He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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