I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
