i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
