I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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