LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize