I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
