Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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