she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
