why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
