I think I died a long time ago.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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