Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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