That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
