Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
