i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
