Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it because I queefed?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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