Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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