I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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