No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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