it wasn't lemon gatorade
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
