yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
