You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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