Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
birth control should be required to get into college
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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