There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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