I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
