Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I understand Curling. That high.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
