We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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