Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize