If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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